**DOODLES ARE MY MEDITATION **

Side by side Journal pages, detail. Sharpies & acrylic

I wish I could get the meditation thing down. That, and yoga. I've dabbled in both temporarily and sporadically over the years, but never seemed to make either part of my daily life. If I sit and try to consciously meditate, truth be told, I'll probably fall asleep. I am almost always exhausted. Two kiddos, our 3 year old son and our 9 month old daughter, in combination with running a business and doing my best to be a present partner for my wife. I also, rather humbly, fancy myself an artist, and like to sneak in creative time whenever I can as it's damn good for the soul.  Add minimal and often disrupted sleep to the mix, and well, obviously, I'm beat. I could almost always fall asleep at the drop of a hat, anytime, anywhere. When I'm home with the kids, while we play on the floor, I try to avoid lying down, for it is a sure sign that within 3 minutes, my kid will jump on me, "Mommy, you're snoring!" Ok, didn't mean for this to be an "oh, I'm-so-freaking-tired rant." I signed up for all of it. And don't regret a bit of it. However, changes, they are a'comin. Specifically that of our little shop of 7 years closing up within the next 7 weeks. A super tough, but better-in-long-run-and-for-the-family decision. I feel that both the business and my family are only getting blurry sleep-deprived bits and pieces of me and it's not fair to anyone. As I write that, I realize it's the first time I've put it out there in a "public space," if you will. We've been telling people at the shop on an individual basis, and I do have signage in the shop windows...but I keep postponing the inevitable eBlast / Facebook announcement etc...etc... 

I should probably get on that NOW. 

All the doodles in this post have been my way of processing and dealing with the abundance of mixed emotions that have surfaced during this very bittersweet time in my life

Journal, detail. Sharpies

The point of all this, besides the fact that I am easily sidetracked by my own stream of consciousness, is that my exhausted, stressed out, anxiety-ridden brain needs an escape from time to time. For the moment, the best way I've found is to sit down, Sharpie in hand, and begin making marks on the paper. It's repetitive, relaxing, and slightly mind-numbing, the latter of which I totally embrace. Having just written that sentence, I had this overwhelming urge to put this post on hold, and take pen to paper. It's somewhat of an addictive escape, and I can't walk away until it's done. Good thing I don't do wall-size pieces! (Side note: people often ask why I don't "work larger;" I have a need to express whatever needs to get out, if possible, in one sitting. It may be an 8 hour sitting, but I have a very hard time walking away mid-process. On occasion, I may revisit a piece and add to it, but the "original" was almost always considered finished when I walked away. And, if I ever actually create a lager scale work, it's typically comprised of many smaller pieces). 

  

Journal page, detail. Sharpies, colored pencils overlaid with copic markers

 SO...back to the point, I guess. I need active meditation, if such a thing exists. If not, well, that's what I need, and I've just made it up. If I am not doing something, I am likely to pass out. That said, I did nod off while doodling the other night; pools of ink spread where I must have slowly let my pen sit atop the paper. Lines crossed over one another and doubled back. I'm tired. And the fact that I can so easily fall asleep (which my therapist seems pretty certain is not narcolepsy, but pure exhaustion, anxiety and stress...yay, it's so great inside my brain!) and am not even familiar with the concept of simply relaxing...oy, that's another issue I can touch on at some other time. 

And then I thought...why just fill my journal pages with these marks? Make some cards. So I did.
Available in my Etsy shop

Decided to mix it up with some right angles...and really liked the outcome. 
These are also cards, available on Etsy. (Another side note, I know, imagine that! but with the closure of my little shop just weeks away, my intent is to pour myself into my creative outlets, posting on this here blog, filling up my Etsy shop, and hitting the art fair scene this summer. Honestly, I get pretty excited when I think about the possibilities!

A little tricky to tell, but black ink surrounded by shimmery gold ink.

Card detail, red and gray

 After posting some of the above images on my Instagram feed, my crazy-talented, multi-faceted, rad human being of a friend, Shannon, asked if I'd consider being the "featured artist" for her awesome project, #YearOfStitch "Heck, yeah!" Sign me up. In my doodles, she saw inspiration for cross-stitch designs and patterns. Below is what I created for her to share with her followers: a doodly-sketch-pattern to use as a guide, incorporating all the stitches they learned in Q1. You should really check out Shannon's website / tutorial blog BadassCrossStitch as well as all of her other social media outlets, which you'll find on her blog. After seeing samplers from her followers, and "studying" the stitches enough to create the pattern, I'm super tempted to haul out my old cross stitch supplies and start countin'. Because you know that's EXACTLY what I have time for. And so it goes... 

Arts and Design Weekend October 10-12, 2014

It's been far too long since I've posted, much less indulged my creative muse. Life gets busy, and the moments that feed my soul, those moments spent creating, can so easily be pushed aside. There's no denying that the reasons for lack of creativity are pure magic...our two kiddos, Bodhi-oh, now 2.5 years, and sweet Hazel-nut, almost 4 months. They bring joy (and, yeah, periodic frustration) into our daily lives. I want to spend every moment with them, and yet, I know, especially for B, that independent play and his own quiet time are fundamental for his development. As necessary as that is for him, so is creative time and solitude for me.  I registered for the Arts and Design Weekend knowing that it would help light that fire, and get me back in the studio, if only for chunks of time in the wee hours of the night. 

It's a constant and personal challenge to share my art with the world. I typically have some pieces on display in our shop, and on occasion they make it to etsy, but for the most part, they remain hidden. Or at the very least, not easy to find if someone so desired. People often ask me where they can find my work...do I sell it somewhere? That is a very good question. So for now, let's see if I can get this blog rolling again and I'll just take it from there, I suppose.

Beauty in Bugs

August 2nd, 2013, Bodhi and I took a rather impromptu field trip to the Peggy Notebart Nature Museum in Lincoln Park. Not having been there in a while, I checked online first to make sure there would be things he'd enjoy. No doubt he'd have a blast, and when I saw a tidbit about this exhibit, I knew we had to spend some time there as well. 

B in front of one portion of Jennifer Angus' installation

Artist Statement...explains it better than I ever could.

Mesmerized doesn't really begin to capture my feelings when I saw this installation. I'm still trying to figure it out, but I was entranced, and couldn't stop looking, both from a distance and up close, taking picture after picture. If I ever encountered these creatures in their natural habitats, I'm quite sure I would freak out, to put it mildly. Transformed like this, they were magical.

 

These undulating ribbons of moths reminded me so much of delicate, Victorian lace winding its way up the walls.

When I got home, I searched online for more images of her work and came up with this small selection. The spaces she creates, the patterns, the mandala effects are all just beyond stunning. I look forward to stumbling upon more exhibits of this artist in the future. 

One of these days, I'll document my own work again; it's being created. But I guess part of my process is finding inspiration in all that surrounds me. I am so grateful to have had this experience today.

Recent Sightings

I shoot with my iphone constantly. It's often the only creative outlet I can fit into a day, and it feels really good. An old High School friend wrote on my Facebook wall the other day "Too see things thru your eyes...all must be beautiful!" I was so touched by those words. I DO love to look at my surroundings constantly; finding shapes and lines and colors and patterns...that brings me huge joy!  I've been doing a little bit of everything recently, and feeling like I'm completing nothing :-/ 

A bit of visual journaling here, some random embroidery there, fulfilling custom requests, doodling etc...

When I find myself feeling disjointed, it feels good to collect some beauty and delightful experiences all in one place. And here's today's random assortment: 

My munchkin about a month ago. A chilly day, but with just the right layers, a perfect day for the swings!
I like the edit on this...feels timeless.

An oldie but a goodie, circa summer 2005. Reflected self-portrait at the Garfield Park Conservatory, just West of  downtown Chicago. There were beautiful, robust, mosaic-filled sculptures everywhere by artist  Niki de Saint Phalle.

Mindless, meditative embroidery. Sitting in my art room / sun room the other day,  staring at all my "stuff," I grabbed a small embroidery hoop, linen scraps, and this weird, flexible woven mesh material I've had forever.  Layered them in the hoop and started making knots. 

This wall advertisement was hidden for decades until the adjacent building was demolished.  It's  in Andersonville, a  neighborhood just North of downtown Chicago. I don't know what the plans are for the open land, but for now, it's a nostalgic piece of history that I get to see on a regular basis. If something is built on the empty lot, I think the structure should have a wall of windows so as not to hide this beauty.

Oh, textures and layers and all that good stuff. This is a section of wall I occasionally  photograph; sometimes it holds weird artwork, images of creepy clowns or Jesus have been known to hang there. It's in the old Calo Theater in Andersonville. The space currently houses the Howard Brown / Brown Elephant resale shop. The interior was left untouched, so the huge vaulted ceilings, dilapidated walls and so many layers of history are always a treat to behold.

My babe's sweet toes in the Spring grass. That is all. *love*

Silo at the Farm in the Zoo, part of the Lincoln Park Zoo. (Hipstamatic)

Signage, origami, silhouettes and reflections. On my walk to work, this restaurant window has a growing collection of what I can only call origami star spheres...they're so great! Edited this via Instagram the other day, and am loving the layers, shapes and colors!

Today, being a gorgeous, hot in the sun and chilly in the shade day, we took a family walk for nearly two hours throughout the neighborhood. Just across from our block and parked in front of The Coffee Studio, was the most cheerful little camper I had ever seen! Painted orange with white zigzags, its insides where overflowing with vintage beauty in the form of dresses, tops, skirts, purses and accessories. I had heard of mobile shops, but this was my first time seeing one up close and personal. SO. Awesome!

Check out Lost Girls Vintage

And last, but not least, these GAH-mazing! pink magnolias beckoned me across the street and into teh cemetery. They just had to be photographed. Not much to say other than they were so freaking stunning!